I know that many of the posts I write are angsty and worry-laden, but I am feeling very thankful right now, thankful for so many reasons.
I live in the Bay Area, and we have had terrible air quality for almost 2 weeks now. It has gotten so bad, schools were canceled on Friday and there haven’t been any sporting events for most of November. But I won’t complain – what we are experiencing is trivial compared to what the victims of the Camp and Woolsey fires are going through. I honestly cannot imagine what it is like for them, the terror many of them felt as they were escaping, the folks that didn’t make it, or family and friends of those still missing. Or how the people living very close to the fires are doing, those who have evacuated and those wondering if and when they may need to evacuate. I am thankful to be here.
Despite their mistakes, I am thankful I had 2 parents who loved me and tried their best with what they felt was a no-win situation. I am thankful for siblings who love horror flicks and McDonalds for Thanksgiving dinner as much as I do. I am thankful for a loud, raucous extended family who keeps things lively. I am thankful for old friends who couldn’t feel more like family even if we were blood related. I am thankful for a safe, warm, and comfortable home. I am thankful for a flexible job that allows me to spend time with my family. I am thankful for my silly labradoodle.
Most of all, I am thankful for my husband and children. I am thankful for kind, loving, funny, clever kids who keep me on my toes with their questions and observations, kids who occasionally still like to snuggle with me despite their tween ages. I am so thankful for my husband who is the smartest person I know, someone who can be sweet, silly, and sexy all at once. I am thankful he has been so understanding, patient, and helpful with me on this journey.
Despite the heartbreak and loss associated with finding out about my true biology, I am also thankful for it. I am thankful for the ability to make sense of my past and to be responsible for shaping my present and future.